Take me back

This feeling....I can't describe it, but I'll try, today 1 year ago I was counting down the days, today 1 year ago it was 18 sleeps until I hopped on a plane to go see my sister. Today I am not counting down the days, today I am longing for it to be 18 more sleeps before I hop on a plane.

The time I had in England,  the 3 weeks I spent sleeping in my nieces bed, waking up to crying babies, walking to catch the bus, walking to the pebble beach, going on roller coasters,  checking out castles, zip lining through trees, checking out wax models, watching my nephew play in beautiful parks, eating ice creams, eating McDonald's,  eating thai food, drinking yummy milkshakes, shopping, staring at my new nephew, going on the London Eye, it was the best time of my life, when I was there I felt at home, I felt like I belonged there.

Today I am sad, sad I can't be there, sad my family probably won't get to experience what I experienced, sad my sister is what could be a million miles away.

Today I am torn, I can't watch noah play in the park, I cant see Ben take his first steps and I didn't get to see Finn's first smile. Today I am missing out on special moments.

Today I am longing for new memories
Today I am longing for it to be 1 year ago today.

1 week down

Wow I've been in England for a whole week already, noooo make it slow down,  it's going to fast!

I've had such a lovely time so far, I'm loving it here. I wish Dolf and the kids were with me.

We went out to Brighton for a few hours and took noah to the park which has a little pool for him to play in, he had such a lovely time. We went to Brighton one night which was lots of fun. We went to Chessington for the day and I went on my first roller coaster wow it was fun, just a pity the queues were so long. We went on this terrifying ride that went up so high and spun around...urgh! But it was so much fun. I've been to Hever castle with my gran and had such a lovely time out, I really enjoyed the history and looking at the way the wood was carved and ceilings so fancy and the big tapestries, it was all so amazing. We had a lovely lunch there, it was a great experience and I feel so privileged.

I hope the next week goes a bit slower. But I'm really looking forward to the next week of adventure.

Flying High

My first time flying international and only second time on an aeroplane, wow so exciting. The worst part was having to say good bye to my family.  But I was so blessed to have my friend Tiaan flying with me (by chance) it made it so much less scary and left so much more to enjoy, I didn't have to worry if I was going the wrong way or doing the right thing. He even got me to my boarding gate at Dubai, I'm so grateful.

I had such a good trip, despite the fact that I didn't sleep much or that I got sore knees, but I suppose that's normal when you flying half way across the world.

But of course the best part was getting off on the other side and having my beautiful sister there to fetch me.

Beautiful Benjamin

I have been meaning to write this for a while now but I was battling to find my prayer list (the one I spoke about in the desires of my heart) well today I found my prayer list so I'm going to share another time that God answered my prayers.

When I started my prayer list for 2014 my sister had just told us that she was pregnant so after writing down my prayer to be able to go visit her when her baby was born, the obvious next thing was to pray for her pregnancy and the birth, this was my prayer "that Tarryns baby will be healthy and that her pregnancy would go smoothly for no complications and a quick labour and birth"

The pregnancy went so well for my sister, and she looked so beautiful with that big tummy, I wish I could have felt it and caught her glowing beauty of pregnancy on camera. But it felt like forever and when the little man was past his due date we couldn't wait and just wanted to meet him.

Well we got the message (3 days past due date) at 11:50 South African time on 19 June that contractions had started, needless to say my mom and I were glued to our phones waiting for the next up date, at 14:30 (S.A time) we got the message that they were on their way to the hospital, and when asked how you feeling, the 1 word answer of "sore" gave it away that those contractions were getting bad. Then we heard nothing more, wow were we waiting in anticipation. Eventually we got the message that my precious nephew was born at 15:40 (S.A time) weighing a healthy 4.1kg's.  Ah he's so beautiful.

My beautiful sister and nephew.

We found out his name later that evening(they hadn't decided on one yet) and we all love it, we think Benjamin Samuel Knight is perfect, the name and the baby.

I just want to thank God for answering prayers and for this new life. And Taz I just want to let you know I don't mind if you blame me that your labour went so quick you couldn't have an epidural (wink wink)

I can't wait, 10 sleeps and I get to meet Ben in person.

Chasing Dreams

Chasing dreams

This way that way

Any which way

Chasing dreams

Come what may

To be able to live

Without feeling bound

To the things we desire

Things that cannot be found

Which way do we turn

Where do we go

When things fall apart

And it's only worries that grow

When our plans don't succeed

And nothing goes right

Do we throw in the towel

Or do we look to the light

Show me the path

Oh father I pray

When I seek my own pleasures

And go my own way

Place your dreams in my heart

Stop me from making a mess

I need you more than ever 

I have to confess

Lord Break these chains

Please set me free

To be who you want me to be

To walk in your ways

And carry out your plan

I'll trust in you

And not in man

This way that way

Any which way

Let me chase your dreams

Oh Lord I pray

The desires of my heart

Wow, how God answers my prayers!

In 2006 my sister moved to England, I was so happy for her starting a new phase in her life, so brave to go to a place where she knew less than a handfull of people, I missed her terribly.

In 2007 when I got married, I was so priveleged that she was able to come back to S.A to share my special day with me, so many special memories. But as all holidays go she had to go back "home" the goodbye wasnt easy, and when she left the hole she filled was left empty again.

As good news goes her boyfriend proposed to her and the best news was they wanted to get married in South Africa...I had the privelege of planning their wedding and making sure everything went smoothly. I got to meet my crazy inlaws and my brother in law (who was scared of me...before even meeting me-if you saw him youd laugh at him being scared of me). We had the best time ever, and i made promises that i would save like mad and go visit them. On the day that they left I went to the gym so I didnt really have to stand there with all the family and say goodbye. I said a quick goodbye and cried all the way to the gym. My sister hole was empty again, and the saving never materialised.

Then came the biggest suprise of my life, on this particular saturday my mom and her husband told me they wanted to do a walk the next day and needed to borrow my car. It was a normal Sunday we got up and went to church came home had brunch and were going about our day. In the early afternoon I heard my car coming into the driveway and thought to myself "shoo moms home early" shouting to the kids "granny's home" coming down the passage turning into the kitchen MY SISTER WALKS THROUGH THE DOOR!!!! I covered my face and burst out crying! I was so...so...so shocked,excited,happy,emotional. She was actually in my house. Wow! We had the best 3 weeks. Then it ended, we had to say goodbye, again.

End of December 2013 I get a message can we facetime? Ofcourse! Ring ring...yay 2 grinning sisters one happy mom (oh how I love technology) chat chat chat then the sister says "you gonna be an aunty and a granny again" whaaaaatttt?!?!?! Wow! Yay! Congratualtions! I looked at my mom and said "this time its my turn to go visit when the baby is born, I dont care if I beg borrow or steal im going to England in July" the call ended and my brain started working overtime scheming and planning how im going to save enough money in 6 months to go visit my sister. I came up with a plan, I saved like a lunatic (thanks to my hubby for making it possible). I applied for the visa, it was approved, I booked the ticket! Im going to England baby!!!

But thats only part of the reason im writing this post, in the beginning of each year our church has a prayer and fasting week, this year I fasted from my phone, this year I made a prayer list its titled things im praying for in 2014, this is the first thing on my list as its written:
To have enough money to go to England in June/July (tick) for God to provide in whatever way he sees fit for me to have enough money (tick) for the visa approval to be quick without any hiccups (tick) for God to bless my time with my sister and make it memorable. For me to have no problems on the flight that everything will go smoothly. For favour to get a reasonably priced flight (tick).

He's answered the first thing on my list, He cares, He hears every prayer, He knows every heart. He gives us the desires of our heart.

Psalm 37:4
Take delight in the Lord , and he will give you the desires of your heart.

All the days of my life I will give Him praise honour and glory.

Revelation 5:13
“To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever!”

Half 'n half

I am so content at the moment, for the last few months I have really been missing being a stay at home mom, I stayed at home with my children for 4 and a half years and then I started working again, I have been working full day since 2011, and I really have missed the freedom.

In the middle of last month my boss told me that I would have to start working half day, the company ive worked for has recently gone through some changes and we now only have one shop so my workload has been cut in half this resulted in me having to stay at work but alot less to do.

I rejoiced, I was so happy, so at the beginning of June my half day started, I love fetching my daughter from school and even getting home to a messy house that I have to clean, I love having my own time in the afternoon, for running and walking and baking. I am in half day heaven.

I am so content at the moment.